moving...

so i moved to a new place in bushwick today. the place is awesome. it's a 4 bedroom for 2300. It's a 4 bedroom duplex w 2 bathrooms and a backyard.

but, during the move i found the best thinspiration ever. While packing I found a box that I had not opened since my last move two years ago. In this box, among other things, was a packet of photos from halloween my freshman year (2003). That was at the peak of my intense anorexia and in these pics I was so skinny. One of my halloween costumes featured a pair of short shorts and a bikini top. My ribs were showing. Seeing how thin I was last time I went down this road really bolstered my resolve. I stared at those pics for a long time. That's something to strive for, and then some.

As far as my current progress... yesterday started out well. i didn't have any food in my apt (because of the move) so I got a Lean Cuisine for lunch which was around 230 cals. I also made a drink out of a tiny amount of Blue Machine Super Food and a glass of seltzer.... maybe 30 cals. That was supposed to be everything... but then my BFF Jill came over and wanted to have dinner. That was trouble. Since it was my last night in the neighb we went to this Mexican place we used to go to and I bought a burrito and ate the whole gross thing. Restaurants are really my downfall. I can avoid calories if I'm alone, but in a restaurant setting I'm super prone to binge.


But, in good news, today I was super good. I had two Red Bulls and about 1/8 cup of dried cranberries all day. Maybe around 80 cals total.

Since I was really active all day I started getting a bit woozy. My roommates were very insistent that I eat something, so I ended up having a small bowl of chickpeas with quinoa. That was about 300 cals I think. So not a total disaster.

I want to be 18 year old me again.